Home Alone (1990)

I figured I'd do a Christmas review considering it is Christmas. I could have gone with Die Hard, Elf, or Lethal Weapon but I think Home Alone is appropriate considering its legendary status in the Christmas movie genre. I don't think I need to explain the plot but I will anyways: bratty 8-year-old Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin) acts out the night before a family trip to Paris, his mother makes him sleep in the attic. After the McCallisters mistakenly leave for the airport without Kevin, he awakens to an empty house and assumes his wish to have no family has come true. But his excitement sours when he realizes that two robbers (Pesci & Stern) plan to rob the McCallister residence. 

Well to begin, this review is obviously a little biased as Home Alone is not a phenomenal work of cinema but it is a classic whether you like it or not. For starters, Pesci is a joy to watch, as usual, his performance is engaging as hell. Fun fact, the reason why Pesci is constantly muttering when he gets hurt is to ensure he wouldn't swear. Culkin's performance wasn't great, but he was at the time eight so I'll give him some slack.

 To be honest, I would have thought that almost a decade later, after watching this movie for the first time, that the humor wouldn't still hold up. The humor is juvenile and slapstick yet still works due to the overall tone of the movie. I love that in reality the 'wet bandits' would be dead. Like for real, they would be one hundred percent dead. I mean, Pesci's character gets his head lit on fire, falls down many stairs, got his ribs broken with a crowbar, and then slams against a wall from ten feet out. If you think that Pesci might have survived, there is no way you can argue that Stern's character did. Stern's character falls downstairs, gets a nail through his foot, slams against a wall, multiple traumas to the head, steps on glass repeatedly, and last but not least has an iron fall on his face from ten feet above. That man is certainly dead. 

Considering that Kevin could have called the police since he knew the bandits were coming, that only leaves me with two conclusions. He is too stupid to realize the peril he is in or more likely enjoys the trauma he inflicts. I believe it is the second as multiple times he smiles as he inflicts horrible tortures upon the poor bandits. That kid is a little psychopath, no two ways about it. I was almost rooting for the wet bandits. Also, how the hell did he clean all that up; I mean shit got fucked up!

By no means is Home Alone an oscar-winning perfect movie, but is a movie that every family should enjoy at least once during Christmas time. Its themes of Christmas are pure and make a great family viewing (although I do think Kevin's Mom can chill a little, like she quote on quote said she would "sell her soul to the devil himself" to get home to her kid. Lady, it's like two days relax.) Home Alone stands as one of the quintessential Christmas movies of our time, it's not a great movie but it's that movie.
- GL


6 / 10


(Above) My favorite shot:

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